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Coaching Your Kids with Their Emotions: A Guide for Parents

Updated: Apr 1

Emotions are a natural part of human life, and learning to navigate them is a crucial skill for children. As parents, it's our responsibility to guide our children through the complex world of feelings. This process, known as emotion coaching, is a powerful way to help your kids understand and manage their emotions effectively.

Understanding Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a parenting technique that helps children become aware of their emotions and handle them constructively. It involves recognizing your child's emotional expressions as opportunities for intimacy and teaching. By being an emotion coach, you can help your child learn to express and regulate their emotions, which is as important as any other skill they will acquire.

The Benefits of Emotion Coaching

Research has shown that children who receive emotional coaching from their parents tend to have better emotional regulation, social skills, and academic performance. They are also more likely to have stronger relationships and better mental health throughout their lives.

A Practical Guide

Emotion coaching is a vital skill that can greatly benefit your child's emotional development. It's a way to help them understand their feelings, healthily respond to emotions, and improve their overall emotional intelligence. Here's a practical guide to help you start emotion coaching with your child.

Step 1: Observe and Listen

Begin by observing your child's behavior and listening to what they say without judgment. Pay attention to their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. This will help you understand their emotional state and the reasons behind their behavior.

Step 2: Connect and Validate

Once you've identified your child's emotions, connect with them. Get down to their level, make eye contact, and use a calm and gentle voice. Validate their feelings by acknowledging them. You might say something like, "I see that you're feeling upset because your toy broke."

Step 3: Label the Emotions

Help your child put a name to their emotions. This not only helps them understand what they're feeling but also teaches them the vocabulary they need to express themselves. Use simple language suited to their age. For example, "It sounds like you're frustrated that you can't get your shoes on by yourself."

Step 4: Set Boundaries and Problem Solve

While it's important to validate your child's emotions, it's equally important to set clear boundaries. Let them know which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. Then, guide them toward finding solutions to their problems. Encourage them to think of ways to handle similar situations in the future.

Step 5: Be a Role Model

Children learn a lot by watching the adults in their lives. Model the emotional behavior you want to see in your child. Show them how you deal with your own emotions in a constructive manner. When you're feeling angry or frustrated, verbalize your emotions and walk them through your process of calming down.

Step 6: Practice Consistently

Emotion coaching is not a one-time event; it's an ongoing process. Practice these steps consistently, and over time, your child will learn to better understand and manage their emotions.

Step 7: Seek Resources and Support

There are many resources available for parents interested in emotion coaching. Books, workshops, and online courses can provide additional strategies and support. Having an accountability partner is a valuable method to ensure you are guiding your children effectively in managing their emotions. Don't hesitate to seek out these resources to strengthen your skills.


Emotion coaching is not just about managing negative emotions; it's about fostering a deep, empathetic connection between you and your child. It's about equipping them with the skills to face life's challenges with resilience and emotional intelligence. By starting emotion coaching early in your child's life, you're setting them up for success in managing their emotions and building healthy relationships. Remember, emotion coaching is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and practice, but your child's emotional well-being benefits are immeasurable. Keep learning, growing, and connecting with your child, and enjoy the process of helping them develop into emotionally intelligent individuals.

For more information on emotion coaching and to find resources that can help you on this journey, visit the links provided in the references.




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